Pisca Pisca

Hoje, no metrô, estava eu com meus corriqueiros fones de ouvido, prestando atenção na vida dos outros.
Nada mais que uma manhã comum.
Uma garota embarca algumas estações depois de mim e acaba encostando ao meu lado. Loira, 17 anos, no máximo, roupas coloridas. Com ela, um cachorro no colo.
Continuo a olhar os borrões de luz no túnel e a me distrair com a música alta.

Sabe aquela sensação de alguém estar olhando fixamente para você? Instintivamente olhei para o cachorro, que piscava freneticamente.
Percebendo a minha cara confusa, troquei alguns olhares constrangido com a dona do animal até perceber que ele era de pelúcia e não podia estar se mexendo.
O sinal toca, a consciência do metrô avisa "Estação Galeria" e aproveito a deixa para sair sem me justificar.

Eu preciso dormir mais... sério.

Preguiça de Viver

Hoje eu queria morrer.
E aí acordar.

Anesthetize

A facilidade me deixou com preguiça de pensar e isso tem me custado muito.
Preciso desafiar mais minha mente, alterar meus padrões e sair da zona de conforto.

É engraçado como quando tudo parece mais fácil, o sabor amargo do desgosto toma o lugar da doçura da conquista. Eu me sinto desperdiçando meu potencial a cada dia que sento na mesma cadeira, respondo os mesmos emails com as mesmas palavras.
Minha criatividade é jogada no lixo como as dezenas de rascunhos e projetos que não são aprovados, idéias que não chegam a lugar algum.

Percebi, além disso, que o grande culpado não é quem não me dá oportunidades, quem rejeita meus projetos ou quem me deixa a mofar na mesma cadeira empoeirada... o trabalho deles é esse.
A culpa é minha por me permitir submergir na areia movediça do cotidiano.

Só resta saber quando o fôlego acaba.

Lightheaded

"And I can't do this by myself

All of these problems, they're all in your head
And I can't be somebody else

Behind your lies
I can see the secrets you don't show"

I'mma show you how great I am

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure, beyond measure.

Ima show you, how great I am.

Last night I cut the light off in my bedroom, hit the switch, and was in the bed before the room was dark.

Ima show you, how great I am.

Only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick, Im so mean I make medicine sick.

Ima show you, how great I am.

This kids gonna be the best kid in the world.
This kids gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.

Ima show you, how great I am.

I have wrastled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale, I done handcuffed lightnin, thrown thunder in jail.

Ima show you, how great I am.

All you chumps are gonna bow when I whoop him, all of you, I know you got him, I know youve got him picked, but the mans in trouble, Ima show you how great I am.

But somewhere along the line you changed, you stopped being you.
You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you youre no good, and when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know, the world aint all sunshine and rainbows, its a very mean and nasty place and I dont care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life; but it aint about how hard you hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward.
Thats how winning is done.


Cause if youre willin to go through all the battling you gotta go through to get to where you wanna get, whos got the right to stop you.
I mean maybe some of you guys got something you never finished, something you really want to do, something you never said to somebody, something.
And youre told no even after you pay your dues, whos got the right to tell you that, who? Nobody.
Its your right to listen to your gut, it aint nobodys right to say no, after you earn the right to be where you want to be and do what you want to do.

Now if you know what youre worth, then go out and get what youre worth.
But youve gotta be willing to take the hits.
And not pointing fingers saying you aint where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody.
Cowards do that and that aint you!
Youre better than that!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

All you chumps are gonna bow when I whoop him, all of you, I know you got him, I know youve got him picked, but the mans in trouble, Ima show you how great I am."

Trouble is my middle Name

A falta de sono anda me transformando na efígie da rudez.
Mas nem ligo, na verdade.

Me vejo como uma idiossincrasia ambulante, a qual a personalidade explosiva e inconstante pode ser um atrativo para alguns e uma lâmina afiada para outros. Estou mais carnal, mais passional, mais temperamental. Pode soar prepotente, mas em poucos momentos da minha vida me senti tão seguro e sexy, tão ácido, tão eu.
E quero mais disso. Mais do gosto doce do amor, do tesão e do orgasmo... da pele, da boca, do corpo. Quero os lençóis revirados e o suor escorrendo pelas costas nuas.
Maldito vício esse, pelo poder de controlar minha mente caótica.

"And in the end, cant understand... the echoe mind, the lust scent... desire me, the way I am."
Pheromones, sweetie... pheromones...

Sadistic Desire

"You let me violate you
you let me desecrate you
you let me penetrate you
you let me complicate you

Help me
I broke apart my insides
(Help me)
I've got no soul to sell
(Help me)
The only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself

I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god

You can have my isolation
You can have the hate that it brings
You can have my absence of faith
You can have my everything

(Help me)
Tear down my reason
(Help me)
It's your sex I can smell
(Help me)
You make me perfect
Help me become somebody else

I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to god

Through every forest
Above the trees
Within my stomach
Scraped off my knees
I drink the honey
Inside your hive
You are the reason
I stay alive"

Nine Inch Nails nunca fez tanto sentido.